Churning and Turning...discipleship...

Like a plough that's been churning up damp soil, my mind has been turning over the thoughts of discipleship, spiritual authority and church leaders. These themes may be unfamiliar to some of you, but if you grew up as I did in the Evangelical charismatic wing of the church, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Discipleship was seen (and still is by many) as those who have spiritual authority (basically the leaders of the local church) 'forming' those who are new in the faith. The leaders transmit 'orthodoxy' and his or her particular spin on the Christian faith. The new believer has to adhere to that which those in 'authority' tell him to adhere to. That being the rules and the dogmas of the leader's particular brand of Christianity.

Maybe, just maybe some people are comfortable with being told what to do. But I feel that there just  may be some real dangers in this form of 'discipleship'.
I've seen cases where people blindly follow the leader and this has led to dependence and also manipulation. So often, the person with spiritual authority has to play the 'I'm holier and more sanctified than you game' - this can lead to down right lying. The leader can not show his weaknesses and has to put on a show of being right in all things. i'm not exaggerating. I remember a distinct case where the leaders had to 'cover up' their weakness and  failings.

I believe that we are all messed up. In different degrees of course - but we are all basically in a mess. We all have times of doubt, anger, frustration and failure. We can put our foot in it. We can say hurtful words like knives that lacerate at the souls of the receivers.

I don't believe that discipleship is about the spiritual expert forming the novice. I see it as a mutual encouragement, setting our sights and our lives towards Jesus. I need the humility to be open to guidance and to advice from the unlikely even the stranger.
Discipleship is not about a course that we have to follow, and adhere to, and at the end signing the commitment card.

Discipleship is more about following a person, a living presence who's with us every day even if we fail to perceive her. Discipleship is about being open - allowing God to surprise us - and reveling in his love. In fact it's becoming aware that God loves us no matter what - even if we mess it up - He loves us.
So if we fall, we get up. Again and again. He takes our hand and picks us up ( often with a little help from our friends).

So all this has been turning in my mind, churning and turning...